An endless source of amusement is the blurbs written to sell very expensive properties in Vancouver. 1/153 is not too bad, but most are almost as terrible as the drunken-sailor photographs that represent 3/4 million dollar properties.
I have cherry-picked a few blurble lines below for example, and have added my own snarky, somewhat-drunken rejoinders.
All of these blurbles were for places listed at over $750k...
By-the-by: I am available to take decent
Public Killarney area. Covered sundeck over the single garage
Are they selling public land in the parks now? And, how can a covered deck be a sundeck (sic)?
Updated kitchens, hardwood on Main Floor, all original, granite countertops, 4 bathrooms.
All original but for the granite counter tops. That's great! 50 year old furnaces, single-paned windows and leaking roofs are all the rage. So are granite counter tops (still?).
Hard to find mortgage helper downstairs with 2 bedrooms and den and 1 and half baths. Covered sundeck.
Huh? Practically every listing has a mortgage helper or two. Trouble is, they don't help the mortgage nearly enough. And there is that covered sundeck (sic) again. Is that blurb-speak for a car-port?
same European Owner many years
Yeah, so? Does that mean that you paid $119k in 1976 and I can hammer you down to $220k?
High-ceiling unfinished basement.
Owner spent over $70,000 in renovations.
And we want sextuple that back!
THIS IS NOT A DRIVE BY
So please don't! We had a drive-by last week.
How motivated? 50% off list price?
& an entry door with a lock to make the house more secured.
That is a definite selling point! I can't tell you how many open houses I have been to that the door swung freely on its hinges!
That's right. New winds. A hard wind's gonna blow.
Note: lower level suite rented for $750 per month. Price $769,000.00
So that's what? a more than 1000x multiplier? Investor alert!