Saturday, January 13, 2007

the lightness of being



A friend sent me this bit of humour, which I thought I would share with you. I particularly liked the last line - which I have emboldened.

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2006

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional π centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the Lower Mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes (coffees) before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire Store reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

10 comments:

Uncertain Buyer said...

So true.

I will take this sunny, snow filled afternoon over any overcast, rainy day.

Babybull40 said...

That is freakin halarious...So true of late.. we seem to be having your weather here in southern Ontario..I suppose all those skiiers are pissed here.. not enough snow..

bc_cele said...

I think the article left out the part about how hard it is to walk those little rats with hair whe the snow is over their heads. ;-)

solipsist said...

Thanks for posting folks.

That last sentence kept it on-topic on a slow day.

bc_cele - those rats, are you referring to rug-rats? Makes me nervous with my honey expecting same some time in the next 4 weeks, or so.

This market needs to crash so's I can buy a house for it to live in. No shag though please (unless it's end-grain fir planking underneath...).

bc_cele said...

Solipsist,

actually, I was referring to those annoying little yappy things that some people call dogs. Especially, the ones with long hair that the owners insist on putting bows in.

The snow doesn't bother kids, they seem to get through the deepest stuff - no matter how hard you try. ;-)

BTW congrats on your new addition, let us know what it is.

solipsist said...

actually, I was referring to those annoying little yappy things that some people call dogs. Especially, the ones with long hair that the owners insist on putting bows in.

The snow doesn't bother kids, they seem to get through the deepest stuff - no matter how hard you try. ;-)

BTW congrats on your new addition, let us know what it is.

bc_cele - gotcha.

And thanks for the laugh, and the best wishes.

Our vet. can't stand those dogs. She always liked our bush/bear dog as a welcome relief from the rats. Ours are what she called "real dogs".

Travel Songs said...

This article sounds very familiar, ie http://www2.jurock.com/insider/details.asp?id=6400
by Ozzie Jurock.

the pope said...

Haha. I was going to point that out too. I found a copy of ozzie jurocks newsletter and it had that reprinted in it. I first saw it in a paper from Alberta a few months ago, but I can't remember where now.

It also had a comment from Ozzie about how bc is the best place on earth and no amount of housing bubbles will change that. I was suprised to see him refer to a housing bubble.

BTW: Did you see that Mr. Rainy doesn't think its worth keeping BC place open just so I can visit it every 10 years?

http://vancouvercondo.info

Real estute said...

That last line - its pure gold.

solipsist said...

This article sounds very familiar

Thanks for pointing out the origin. I'm starting to have an idea where the e-mail originated.

That Ozzie - he's such a card, isn't he?

BTW: Did you see that Mr. Rainy doesn't think its worth keeping BC place open just so I can visit it every 10 years?

Just catching up pope. Thanks for that. Bub Rainman - I was sooo hoping that he had gone away. Does avarice know no bounds? Such disrespect to our "pope", and the Queen to boot (old boot that she is).

It's time for an Inquisition Your Eminence.

Maybe we should just bulldoze the entire Lower Mainland - to keep Moonbeam in the style to which he has become accustomed.

I see the Lions Gate Bridge in the distance, and it beckons to me.