There has been so much talk about the dearth of land to build on in Vancouver, so I have been thinking about it for quite a while. And I have a few solutions. I will be presenting my proposals over the coming days - as time affords.
My first, and best idea is to develop Stanley Park. Sacrilege! you cry. Preposterous! I hear. But my reasoning is sound.
Stanley Park is 405 hectares, or 1000 acres. A fair bit of that land is already missing it's trees, and is covered by asphalt, concrete, tennis courts, cheesy souvenir stands, etc., so the trees aren't that sacred. How about taking just half of it? Cut it, burn it, pave it, and paint it green. Greenspace is greenspace, right? Then, build thousands of exclusive condos, and sell them off to rich Albertans, and displaced Chinese peasant farmers who made it big in Shanghai.
Crime bosses and dictators always have lots of money too, and they know how to run things. Hey, instead of random, petty crime, we can get it more organized. Once the Olympics have faded into a recurring nightmare of debt, VANOC can become the Vancouver Organized Crime syndicate - headquartered in Stanley Park. We need some corporate headquarters here anyway. The other, "pristine" side of the park can be renamed Olly Park, and the Theatre Under the Stars can do laser shows and re-run Laurel and Hardy films. It would be a hit.
I think the condo development could be pretty cool. Turn the Aquarium into a fitness centre - it already has a pool. Just think of the superstars that we could attract. Rich people would be willing to spend tens of millions of dollars on pool-side condos. Bub Rainy would have a great time marketing that. Pamela Anderson could be the icon. Local girl, animal lover, etc.
'Swim with the Dolphins! Ride a Beluga! Feed the Seals! Play with the otters!
Only the incredibly wealthy and smart and beautiful people will get a chance at this opportunity.
If you are none of the above, you can move to Pincher Creek'
I've already got tons of ideas for the circulars.
This could be you!
No need for pets - these are cuter, and are thrown in by the developer as an incentive.
The lighthouse would make a very cool, very tony condo conversion.
The Miniature Railway could be extended to the Rav Line to make airport access a breeze for the priveleged.
Siwash Rock obstructs some of the views, but it could be removed, and the materials used in construction - thereby making construction costs much less expensive.
I could go on and on (and I am), but you get the idea.
Next edition will feature Queen Elizabeth Park
(I did the photoshop image of Pam and the pups.)